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I can't help but admire Patty Hanford and Bob Picciano.
Not just because the Hanford's Catering owner and Curves of Colfax owner, respectively, have attended umpteen meetings and given their expert advice these past two months to ensure the success of Wednesday's inaugural Sweethearts' Ball.
I already appreciate the handful of Colfax Area Chamber of Commerce volunteers feverishly working on the inaugural party/benefit.
Why I especially admire Patty and Bob is that now, when census data shows that married couples comprise the minority of American households for the first time, as reported by the New York Times in January, Patty and Bob are happily devoted to their spouses.
Who they met through the Internet.
For Patty, it was through online dating (http://www.match.com/) 6 1/2 years ago and, for Bob, it was through a chat room 10 years ago. (See story on page one.)
While today there is a wide variety of online dating sites and chat rooms, from finding someone in your faith to meeting single parents to speed dating in just microseconds; dating sites and chat rooms were new trends when Patty and Bob met their soon-to-be-spouses.
But the two, who had celebrated their 50th birthdays and were more comfortable with the traditional ways of meeting dates (i.e. through friends or social events), charged ahead without any misgivings.
And, as a result, are today in caring and committed marriages, even with the inevitable stresses of blended families.
Yet I often hear horror stories from friends about online dating.
And warnings that you never know if the profiled person is real or just somebody pretending to have better attributes than reality.
According to a recent Harris Interactive Survey sponsored by Match.com, 72 percent of singles never used an online dating service.
So I think it takes guts to turn the computer on and, to slightly modify the old Yellow Pages slogan of "let your fingers do the walking," "let your fingers do the talking."
Because, even though anon-ymous at first, the selection becomes highly personal.
I know from recent first-hand experience.
In the name of research, office mate Renee Curtis and I checked out an online dating site two Fridays ago.
We quickly lost track of time as we oohed and aahed - and just as frequently laughed - over the scores of possible husbands waiting for some typing interaction.
Even office visitors huddled around the computer, had a chuckle or two and then bet on good matches for us.
So Renee and I decided to turn our research up a few notches.
And decided it wouldn't hurt to chat with some of the more desirable men.
By just clicking on someone's photo, we could communicate with powerful, well-educated businessmen in Beverly Hills, New Jersey, Boston, France, England, Israel or, for that matter, any other location in the world.
These men were online, after all, to connect so it seemed like a spontaneous party but better - we didn't have to worry about what outfit to wear or getting directions to the East Coast.
Then we actually began to IM (computer jargon for Instant Messenger or instantly exchanged online messages) some of these prospects.
And, as a result, we instantly became vulnerable.
Because not everyone wanted to talk to us, which was a horrible surprise for us.
After we clicked on a few profiles of "someone with potential," we received generic but nonetheless cold messages saying, "so and so regrettably refuses your IM at this time."
Maybe we didn't really understand the technology behind IMing these prospects.
Or, maybe "they" just didn't like us and it was cosmic payback since we laughed only moments before at some of the profiles.
We quickly grew devastated by our clicking results.
And felt like total wallflowers at a high school dance.
That's why Bob and Patty are now role models to me.
Because they risked getting hurt.
And, in doing so, weren't afraid to go after what they wanted.
They took the necessary steps, even though it was an unknown black hole back in those days.
That's inspiring to me, especially around Valentine's Day.
By Carol Feineman
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