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With Valentine's Day looming and advertisements for what to get your other half becoming unavoidable, it can also be a tough time for lovers who are apart for whatever reason.
Whatever the situation whether they are away working, visiting relatives or away as part of their course, being separated from a loved one can be hard at the best of times. Needless to say that when calendar events such as Valentine's Day comes around the distance between you both seems amplified, and that's not to mention anniversaries or birthdays.
Doubts, insecurities, and anxiety become an every day struggle but ultimately relationships are either made or, sadly, broken by the pressure distance causes.
Waterfront spoke to a student couple who are currently in this situation to ask how they dealt with their long distance relationship. Jack Smith, who is currently at Albany university as part of his American Studies degree stated that, "During the week when I'm occupied, it's not so bad but you do always think of them even if you don't realise it."
So what choice is left to those that are left behind? Well basically, get on with it! A jam packed schedule, activities and joining multiple societies definitely make the time fly by.
For those of you in this situation who find a lot of time on your hands it might be a good idea to try out things that you may never have thought of doing. Face it: we live in Swansea with beaches galore, a generous dose of societies and so many students that they could populate an island. By filling up any spare time the days will seem to fly through to the date when reunion is imminent, instead of watching the clock and the progress of the minutes of the day drag on.
Jack said "I keep busy reading, working for classes, going to the gym, going to aikido and trying to keep my mind active so I don't think about it," although he does confess that "it doesn't always work though!"
When it comes to long distance relationships, each couple approach it differently depending on their ideals, culture, personality and what type of relationship they have. It goes without saying that some relationships mean more to some than they do for others. Prior to any long term separation, couples are faced with the decision to either make a go of it or to cut their losses rather than stay behind and wait.
Plenty of old adages come to mind but some tend to hold true for those couples who decide to make a go of it. Whether there are doubts at the beginning or not there are definitely some niggling thoughts a few weeks into the separation. You could call this the critical stage of the relationship. Trust does become an issue when considering to make or break the relationship regardless of the esteem which you may have at one time held for it and your other half.
There is a natural unease over your other half meeting new people, will he/she find someone else that they end up liking more than you? Have they cheated? Do they still think of you? Is it a chore for them to check in with you once a week? Those relationships that do stay together after this period are testament to the strength of their relationship and the seriousness with which they hold it.
A comfort can be knowing that if a relationship is meant to last, then this period of separation will merely be a time of strengthening for the relationship as well as ensuring a new level of appreciation and intimacy when they return.
According to studies, the relationships that survive the separation are those who talk openly and honestly, trust each other and are aware of the anticlimax upon being reunited. Many couples have found that one aspect of the separation that helps is thinking on the moment when the two of you will be together again.
However, fantasies and embellishments can hinder the stark reality of any reunion- which is simply a meeting of two people compared to the romantic Hollywood ending which may be imagined. More often than not it seems as if your other half is a stranger. The last thing you want during your first night together is to nearly jump out of bed from the fright of being touched because you have become so used to sleeping alone that you almost feel as if the long term relationship you share is merely a fresh bud at the beginning of spring.
With loneliness a common requisite of any individual during this time of year, whether they are in a relationship or not, we can take comfort in that the person next to us on the bus, in lectures and on different continents feels it also but at least in a long distance relationship you know that someone who may be hundreds of miles away has a connection with you that is precious and rare. The seeming isolation of Valentine's Day does not need to be amplified but can be used merely as a time to ascertain that as human beings in a mutual circumstance we are united.
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